Me, Kristen and Kelsey went to the mall. Big time fun shit. We got Kristen pimp shit new shoes. I was slightly terrified for my life though cause her sister's crazy. Like she drives in wrong lanes and like compulsivly buys things. Yeah, and she knows for a fact that the 'booty shop' game isn't any fun. ( I didn't ask how she knows)
But yeah, I saw Chris (!!!!!!) up there and forced Kristen and Kelsey to help me stalk him. It was funny cause, he didn't say but two words to me at the mall and then when I tal;ked to him online just now he said "I wanted to so badly to be all over you at the mall" I was rollin. He said he didn't talk to me cause his mom was there. She was. I thought it was cute cause it was him, his mom and his lil brother. (aww, Kodack Moment!)
We ended up losin him though so we found kristens sis buyin ugly shit at The Iceing and then at Dilards. rofl. Then we left and bumped the gayest pop-rap ever. I was actin like a douche and singin and dancin along though.That's bout it..
Well, the show the other night was compleatly kick ass. Chubbs actually acted like he knew me and introduced me to all his indie friends. Black cross kicks some massive ass.
Me and shawn stayed up till like 1:30 last night analizing Coheed and Cambria songs. It was awesome. I was also in a chat room Cole made. It was so funny. This one kid baker kept askin me to marry him cause I was callin his friend Jake gay. I guess to find it funny you kinda had to be there.
Chubbs and me went to ear-x-tacy today. The cacadas are aweful down in the highlands. I'm begining to getused to them. The're huge and gross. I don't like bugs any way. I swear if one lands on me I will scream bloody murder. lol
I got like 3 inches cut off my hair a lil while ago. It's too short to put up now but.. oh well.
I had the oddest dream last night. Jess went out with Cody. And me and him were at some place sittin there makin out and like actin all togetherish right in front of her. And she was like I hate you and he made up some bullshit excuse like me and him were just really good friends while he was like on top of me. When I woke up I was like whoa! rofl.
Played golf today. My mom hit a duck in the head. rofl. what a silly billy.
and so I will leave you with these words best expressed by pat benatar.. We are strong, hert ache to heart ache we stand, no promises no demands..
Movies was awesome. Had a blast with Jess. Ice Ice Baby!
Why does Shawn have this effect on me? I suddenly wanna cry cause he won't talk to me. WTF is my problem? I don't get it. I'm stupid. Trying to help him through a crisis with a girl when I really don't wanna. Maybe I should just be happy that I'm helpin him be happy. He's just so hard to get through to. He thinks no one cares. I do.
Nothing's really been goin on lately, so I've been letting things build up so I'd have more to discuss.
[b]Monday:[/b]
Wore my duct tape purse to school. It rocks.
Lew dared me to wear my hair in a side pont tail all day so I did. I looked really preppy but didn't care. Cate said I acted like I was on something. I was high. HIGH ON LIFE, BABY!! woo! I wore my Bio safety glasses on the bus and at the compound. I looked "so 80s". rofl.
Apparently Cole was there and he didn't say any thing to me. I don't know him yet he knows me. Could someone have told me who he was?? Jess?? Matt??
Shawn gave me a ride home. It was pimp shiz. He's a cool guy. And Jess, I was just flirting with him. No biggie. We picked Jess up on the way to my house cause she was walkin. She got dropped of before I did. When I got hom and called my mom she was all freakin out thinkin he had like come in and we had fucked or somethin. rofl. [b] Tuesday:[/b]
The last day of school. No more days at Seneca High. I'm gunna miss Cody so much even dispite all the shit he's done to me. I cried. Damn. I hate myself for it to. It was just feeliln sorry for myself.
My mom picked me up from school at noon. Chubbs' had graduation and I saw Shaun there dressed in his lil rotc outfit. lol I woulda given him a hug but he woulda gotten in trouble.
Grandaparents came in for the graduation and bitched at me. Oh, joy.
[b]Today: [/b]
Woke up at 12:30. G-parents were already gone. MAtt might be goin to the mall with Rachel and Katt. Can't say I wouldn't be a lil upset also.Is it just me or does this :x smiley look constipated?? Sorry, that's always bugged me.
Cate Moved today. :cry: It's gunna suck not having her live so close. Lake Forest is forever away and i'm afraid i might have lost her forever. With me changing schools it's gunna be almost impossible to stay in touch with her. It's close to impossible now.
Ok, I've made a new blog. I'm tired of postin poems and my random rambalings in the same place, so now all my poems are here--- [url=http://brokenpromises.tblog.c...]BrokenPromises' T blog Site.[/url]
My randomness kills me. I made a duct tape purse today and I love it to death. I put all my buttons on it! <3 I know it's so random and pointless and even I must admit it's a lil funny. > Had to clean my room today. :roll: It was a mess. I cleaned out my closet also and all together therw away 2 garbage bags of shit.
Chris and Shawn were at the compound friday. God, the're hot! So yeah i got to have some fun friday before boring ass uptown.
I really have nothing else to say except imma post another poem on my other blog now and Kodan Armada Rocks!!!. bye bye. Rachel
Really Bored in LA and Spanish classes today.. Enjoy! ------------------------ Did you never notice the scarlet stains? The ones that have overcome her notebook. Reminiscent of what you've done. Of course you didn't. You've always found her poems melodramatic and now that it's over, you're running. As fas as you can from her self-destructive ideas.
Jealous tears stream down. As chrome highlights her pale skin. She'll write about this later. In that notebook. The one you hate to read. 5/20/04
Ok, so nothin really happend today. I wrote a poem. It's not good. [i]At all![/i]I won't post it unless begged.
Adam like Keri and Keri likes Adam. Woo hoo Imma play match maker with 5 days left of school. Should be a blast.
I skipped swim practice tonight cause it was storming. I finished my pinita(sp) and my Hungary project is almost done. LA notebook, despratly empty.
Chris can't go to uptown friday (I'm assuming he has to work). But it's the last one and I won't see him forever unless we like go to the movies or hang out or somethin. I won't see any of them forever. It's sad.
Ok, I've spent all day doing school projects and burning Chubbs' Cursive cds. I have 6 of them now. They have 7 but the one won't burn. :cry: Q and not U cd though!!!!
Anthropology project.. almost done. LA note book... Summaries done. LA book.. finished.
Sweet baby don't cry, your tears are only alibies to prove you still feel. You only feel sorry for yourself.. Rachel
Congradulations. You finally broke her. Silently and secretly, you ruined that angel.
Dropplets of crimson grace her arm. Deflowering her of her beauty. Forever shall remain the reminder of you, locked inside of lackluster scars.
You'll never know though. She'll go about her day as though nothing's the matter. Her heart though will wheep and cry out for you, you won't be listening.
And once you're finally gone her heart shall mend. Scars will fade, and along with them so will the memory of you. 5/14/04
Well, after I got done posting my last entry I wrote a poem. Leave a comment if any one wants to read it and I'll post it tomorrow. No comments= no poem.
Uptown was a bore. This one girl I'm not real close to but alot of my friends are has cancer. It's aweful. So many people were crying and I had to search Shawn to make sure he didn't have a razor/ pocket knife on him.
Kentucky kingdom was the shiznit today. We rode T2 and right when we got to the top of the hill it started pouring down rain. We got soaked. Then once the ride ended we ran to this little shelter thing to wait for some of our friends that were in line behind us and right when we got under it it stopped raining. The next people haden't even started movin yet. It was halarious in one of those this'll seem really stupid later kinda ways.
What the fuck, Bitch?! How dare you. I mean I'm sorry I like you and I'm sorry you're moving but you have no right to do this to me. Why the fuck would you just start makin out with her in fromt of me?! It's not even that. It's that yousit there and tell me to my face you like me and then you tell my best friends that if you wern't moving you would ask me out. What the fuck?!?!?! Why would you do that. I would just assume not know if you're gunna just gunna go at it with her in front of me. I was right there. You know how I feel. I refuse to let myself cry over you, or SI for that matter. Damn that razor is so close... NO! I won't not over you.. you're not worth it any more.
Kentucky Kingdom trip tomorrow. I'm on bus 120 (could you have guessed??^^^) It should be awesome.
I attempted to update earlier but Adam and Cody were on and talking to them prohibited me from doing so. And then I realized I was late for swim practice. Timmy was surprisingly cool about it. Practice was easy.
Today was relativly uneventful. We talked about how Adam "had his way with me" last night lol. Actually I was sayin he had his away message on last night and Cody bein the dufas he is missunderstood me and thought adam had his way with me. rolf. He got "mad" and said it shoulda been him.
Cate was sittin like the sweedish slut she is on the bus today. I did not need to see that espically when she was wearin a skirt, so I threw a Froot Loop up her skirt. It was halarious. Well, not really I just have a derranged sense of humor.
People keep writing about "boat boy" in my yearbook. I have yet to ask him to sign it though in fear of him bein a dufas and just writtin his name.
Jess and Matt go out now. It's about damn time too. It just sucks though cause now Matt won't even attempt conversation with me. Quite funny if you think about it.
I just got home from Chubbs' graduation thingie for the whole [i]School to Work Program [/i]at UPS. They played the WORST elevator music through the majority of it. I now have a massive headach but I know if I take tylanol I'll purpously take too many. (Just ignore that last part.)
[b][u]JESS:[/u][/b] I don't know if you're still part of the curse but if you are. BEWARE. It has begun.
I just got home from swim practice. It went fantabulosly. I really forgot how much I missed swimming. I refuse to take Kelly's (swim coach) shit this year, though. He (yes, Kelly's a guy) always finds some way to screw me over.
Ok, 'nough complaning.
I got my year book today!!! YAY!!!! Yes, I am enough of a loser to get one freshman year. There's a wonderful shot of my backside in the field hockey section. It was the first time I realized just how much shorter my skirt was then all the other girl's. hehe
Well, Imma go eat cause I'm starvin and I haven't eaten nothin today. Rachel
I'm starting to get really worried about Cate. She puked up blood the other night. I kinda of feel Josh was being a tad insensitive about it. He called her a "Bulemic bitch" for Christ's sake! I don't agree with her doing this at all but cussing her out won't help.
Other then that today was massavly uneventful. I came home from school and talked to Matt and Chris online for a while. Matt about all this Jess and me thing and Chris about nothin really cause he had to go to work.
I start swim practice tomorrow. What fun! Timmy (bitchy coach's son) is my coach this year. Should be just swell.
I got my dismissal from Seneca papers today. YAY!!! I should have my schedule in time for registration day. Summer will be hectic. Field Hockey camp, practice daily, Swim practice twice a day, and golf. Should be intermatesting.
I will love you forever if you do this. I shall hate you if you don't. lol jp.
1. What is your name?: Rachel 2. Nicknames: Mustard, orange soda, Rae 3. Birthdate: October 15, 1988 4. Age: 15 5. Sex: Female. 6. Where do you live?: Kentucky. 7. What school do you attend?: Seneca Magnet Career Academy. It sounds so smart. It's not. 8. Siblings and their ages: Chubbs (18) 9. Pets: n/a 10. Zodiac Sign: Libra 11. Righty or Lefty: Righty
what i look like ..
12. Hair color: Brown 13. Eye color: Hazel 14. Height: 5'6 15. Do you wear contacts or glasses?: nope. 16. Do you have any piercings?: Earlobes. 17. Where do you want more if you do?: I donno. 18. Do you have a tattoo?: No 19. Where do you want one?: Me 2 know & you to find out. 20. Do you wear any rings?: My pink striped one 21.Do you have a certain fashion you follow?: Not really.
just lately - 22. How are you today?: Tired. I was shoppin all day. 23. What pants are you wearing right now?: Jeans 24. What shirt are you wearing right now?: A plain white tanktop 25. What underwear are you wearing right now?: the're pink 26. What does your hair look like at the moment?: down and messed up 27. What song are you listening to right now?: None. 28. What was the last thing you ate?: Salad. 29. How is the weather right now?: Warm. 30. Last person you talked to on the phone: my dad 31. Last dream you can remember: lets not go into those details. 32. Who are you talking to right now?: Matt, Chris has his away message on
more about me-
33.What are the last four digits of your phone number? 6691 34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Cerise 35. Have you ever almost died? yeah 36. How do you eat an Oreo? with milk 37. What makes you happy? A lot of stuff I'm too lazy to type right now. 38. What's the best advice ever given to you? Crying gets you no where 39. Have you ever won any special awards? Yeah. But I don't feel like talking about them 40. What are your future goals? nothin really 41. Do you like to dance? :excheerleader/ dance team person:: YES 42. Worst sickness you ever had? Chicken pox 43. What's the stupidest thing you've ever done? pick a day 44. What's your favorite memory? donno 45. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? lets not go there. 46. How many kids do you want to have? prolly 3 47. Sons' names? Conner 48. Daughters': Emma 49. Do you do drugs? No. 50. Do you drink? water, orange soda, uhm.. pepsi. 51. What are you most scared of? heights, dark 52. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope 53. Who do you dream about: It depends. 54. Who do you tell your dreams to? Matt, Cody... 55. Who's the loudest friend you have: I don't know. 56. Who's the quietest friend: Cate
some questions-
57. Is cheerleading a sport?: yes. 58. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Go ask Mr. Owl.
you and your love -
59. Do you believe in Love? Yes. 60. Do you believe in love at first sight? lust, not love 61. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? CANADA!!! rofl.. no, jp. Prolly paris or Rome 62. What song do you want played at your wedding? I don't think that far ahead. 63. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes, ass, depends on which way the're facing. 64. What is your weakness when it comes to the opposite sex? Pretty eyes. 65. Longest crush: Wouldn't you like to know. 66. Are you shy to ask someone out? Yeah.
pick one--this or that -
67. Lights on/off?: Off. 68. Mickey D's or BK: either 69. Do you like scary or happy movies better: Happy. But not too happy. 70. Backstreet Boys or NSYNC: Used to be NSYNC 71. On the phone or in person: It depends. 72. Summer or winter: summer 73. Hugs or kisses: both 74.Chocolate or plain milk: Plain. 75. Mud or Jell-O wrestling: both.. ::giggles:: 76. Vanilla or Chocolate: chocolate 78. Skiing or Boarding: Boarding. 79. Day or night: Night 80. Diamond or pearl: Diamond. 81. Sunset or sunrise: Sunset.
have you ever - 82. loved someone so much it makes you cry? I don't cry. 83. Broken the law? Yes. 84. Ran from the cops? yeah 85. Stole something? Yeah. 86. Tried to kill yourself? no.. ::cough:: 87. Made yourself throw up? no 88. Been in love? Yes. 89. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? yeah, only once though
la la la la la Forced myself to write. I haven't in a while. -------------------
Can you not see the imense pain that you're subjecting him to? I can. It's reflected in the deep chestnut pools of his eyes. They tell no lies. Only truth.
Truth of the pain you've caused. Shattering all of his idalisc dreams and turning him nostalgic. All you succeed in doing was turning respect into loathe.
You just won't be happy 'till he falls back into his suicidal tendancys. It sickens me. How dare you break my Romeo.
You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow. Write or go through other creative outlets to express the anguish you may be feeling, and never let anyone tell you that you are just being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if you're a teenager.If not, then they really should be punished for calling you one. They probably are trying to insult your maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself, dark and amazing. Never change.
Went to the movies last night with Jess and Matt Eric and some other kid were there 2 but we didn't know they were comming. Chris had to work again. ::tear::. We saw Van Helsing. It's a fuckin pimp shizznit movie. The special effects are awesome.
Chubbs took me to go het stuff for momma's day. He was makin fun of Zach from Pocket bomb cause I was wearin their shirt. ::tear:: He's gunna go play kick ball with the dudes from Kodan and Zach tonight. lol. Kinda ironic if you ask me.
*Note to self- Burn Chubbs' CD*
Special thanks to Matt (COMPUTER GEEK!!!!!) for helpin me resize my picture. :roll:
I'mma watch Findin Nemo now.
Well, hello there Mr. Grumpy Gills. You know what you gotta do when life gets you down??? JUST KEEP SWIMMING. Rachel
I finally figured out who Cate's goin out with. WHOO!!! She can't lie.
I feel bad for Cody. He's movin and dosen't wanna ask me out causa it and now, all my friends are tellin him he needs to ask me out cause he's hurting me. He's not really. I've talked to him and he's explained his reasons. As much as I hate them they make sence.
Wrote this on the bus home. While listening to a song, on repeat, that reminds me of him far too much. It's not really a poem but I donno what it is. --------------- The way he walks. The way he smells. His Hair. The way he talks. Sideways glances from across the room. Hugs that suggest a little more then he's willing to reveal. The way he's not scared to be a dufas. I love them all. And I love him. --------------- Aquarium today. This one kid overdosed on something and had a seizor. He fell and cut his chin up pretty badly. He was passed out for a while and couldn't remember his name. I don't really know the kid that well but it was still really freaky. He got taken away in an ambulance and was later transported to a hospital closer to home. I Hung out with Cody most of the time.. I'm pathetic. I chased him around the mall. It was funny. This Kid Donald tried to get me to go to the edge on the second floor and look down. I hate heights. He was practicly draggin me across the floor. On the way home I sat by myself cause Kristen rode the other bus. It was really hot and I sat like a whore. First time doin that in a skirt. No one saw nothin though.. thank god.
I miss you, I miss you and I miss you. I need you I need you. And I need you more.. Rachel
Me and jess made up. I'll post later. I needa resize this.. Help!!! please?? -------------- 2 days later... Matt Helped me.. ::feels stupid:: so now my pics on the side.
